Slow

If I am not careful I can approach the Christmas season like a project, giving myself a syllabus of activities to complete and check off by the due date. There is always pressure to write, address, and mail the annual Christmas letter, shop for, wrap, and distribute presents, bake cookies, decorate the house, find and trim the tree... the list goes on. While all of those activities are lovely and part of my enjoyment of the season, I never want to become so wrapped up in celebrating that I lose focus of the reason for the celebration.

What I really crave this year is time to be still and meditate on the lyrics of my favorite carols such as "Oh, Holy Night", "Oh, Come Let Us Adore Him," and "Hark the Herald Angels Sing." I want to fully appreciate the magnitude of the incredible event that Christmas commemorates; To spend quiet, intimate moments with my saviour and reflect on His goodness to me over the years. At the end of an especially trying year, this is my grown-up Christmas list.

Blessings

I awoke this morning in the comfort of my warm bed, in my warm bedroom next to my very best friend. Our children were only a few yards, away down the hall, safe,warm, and healthy in their own warm beds.

I was able to get up without assistance, cook a hearty breakfast for my family, indulge in a hot bath, and will soon be headed to my mother-in-laws for a family dinner.

I am a woman abundantly blessed. How can I say thank you, Lord? I thank you with my life.

"Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live." Psalm 63:3-4

Gravy

Several years ago, when I was living out of state and had come for a visit, my dad showed me a copy of a book that a local artist had written about Portland which featured a small line drawing of my father (he has operated a catering business locally, for several years, and has garnered a bit of local celebrity.) I was excited and, of course wanted a copy. I have thought about it off and on over the years but have yet to obtain one.

Just last week, that book came to mind again, so I called my dad to ask for the title and author. I still wanted a copy, and was curious whether the library where I work owned the book. Unfortunately, my dad couldn't remember the name of the book or the author. He gave me the few sordid details that he could recall, and I set out on my search. I didn't have much to go on as I had only seen the book briefly and couldn't remember anything about it myself.

Today when I got to work, I picked up some books that I had requested. Upon opening the cover of one that I believed to be a children's book based on the title, I was delighted to see the drawing of my daddy smiling at me. This was the book! I had found it without realizing it!

Sometimes God presents me with the little delights of my heart, making very clear his incredible love for me, and reminding me how he cares about every detail that concerns me. In February, I referred to those as valentines. In November, I will call them gravy.

Thanksgiving

I was lying in bed the other morning thinking about the year so far which has been wrought with set backs and unexpected losses. We seem to get mere moments to catch our breath before the next contraction begins. Having been through labor twice, I recognize that as a good thing. Transition, though the worst part, is also the last hurdle before birth. It's the homestretch.

My husband is again, looking for work. The direction that he took at the crossroad a few weeks ago, though certainly not an Ishmael in that no irreparable damage occurred, was also not the Isaac that we have awaited. So, once again, we find ourselves waiting.

Still, in spite of the difficult terrain that life has dealt us this year, the overwhelming peace of God remains. In the midst of chaos, the joy of the Lord is our strength. And we are so thankful for the blessings of family, friendship, love, laughter, and the true riches of fellowship with The Master. As we gather at our table a few Thursdays from now, we still have an enormity of things to be grateful for.

I know that we are not unique in enduring tough circumstances. We have many loved ones who are also navigating through choppy waters. Please know that you are remembered in our prayers. During this season, I hope that you will also seize upon the opportunity to offer heartfelt thanks to our father, no matter what kind of obstacles have beset your journey. For even if all of the pleasures that this world has to offer are stripped away bit by bit, Christ remains. And he is more than enough.

"Who have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you." Psalm 73:25

Broken

The greatest lie ever perpetrated against mankind ( aside from the original whopper in the garden that resulted in the breach in our relationship with God) is the notion that we are the result of some random molecular changes in the environment rather than created beings. If we exist for no particular reason, except that cells aligned in a magnificent way to bring about our complex physical and mental compositions, then we are beholden to nothing. We are free to blaze our own trail. There is no right or wrong action aside from what society deems as such. This paradigm of random existence and free agency leaves individuals flailing like unswaddled newborns searching for comfort in a vast and impersonal universe.

If however, we understand the Truth, that we are lovingly, precision crafted by a God who desires to have relationship with us, who delights in us and the functions that he has engineered in us, the game changes. With this knowledge comes the revelation that if we are not doing what we are designed to do, then we are broken. The mission of life suddenly shifts from a purely hedonistic pursuit of pleasure, to one of discovery. There is a pressing need to know not only what we are capable of, but additionally to understand the mind and character of The One who engineered us with these abilities.

In the early 1990s, Robin Williams starred in a movie called Hook. It was a take on Peter Pan in which Robin was "The Pan." Having been caught up in the fray of adult life, he had long ago forgotten his time in Neverland and any sense of who he was and what he was able to do. He was broken. Only after spending time in the land that he left behind, amongst those who had not crossed over, was he able to slowly regain the realization of who he was and begin to walk in that knowledge. He recovered the skill that he needed to be victorious over his foe and found fulfillment in the process. So it is with mankind. As we become acquainted with the things of God and gain intimate knowledge of who he is, our eyes are opened to the incredible purpose that we were designed to fulfill. It is then, as we surrender to that purpose that we are able to walk victoriously and find wholeness.

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." Romans 3:23-24

Dogs

People can learn a lot from dog interactions. If you've ever watched two or more canines encounter each other for the first time, you've likely noticed the sheer excitement of simply seeing another dog. I have yet to see one pooch, spot another and ignore that sighting or cross to the other side of the street to avoid contact. On the contrary, they seem to relish any and every opportunity to meet and sniff every other member of their species. Irrespective of size, color, or breed, dogs are always interested in other dogs.

Imagine if people felt the same sense of joy when engaging with other humans. Of course it would not do if we should become so utterly distracted as to be completely derailed from the activity at hand like our four-legged friends. But, a little bit of awe and wonder at meeting another individual created in the image of God, should sweep over us, regardless of the other person's size, color, or status.

"He who has friends must show himself friendly." Proverbs 18:24

Go

My hubby was offered a job last Friday. We had expected it as there had been a bit of activity over the past couple of weeks pointing in that direction. We knew that the wheels were in motion. But as often occurs at critical junctures, there is a fork in the road. There is the position that has been offered, and a second that has not quite reached that stage of maturity, but is also tantalizing.

So here's the rub: We continue to prayerfully consider where it is that God is directing. While we believe that we may soon be free to check out of the desert (hallelujah), we don't want to run "directly to jail without passing 'go' and collecting (the) $200." Instead, we are trying to employ wisdom and take the steps that God has ordered for us, not just the ones that we think are most intriguing. We definitely prefer "Isaacs" over "Ishmaels."

It is an exciting time. We are grateful for our time in the wilderness and the perspective gained here. God has given us a front row seat as he displays his supernatural provision in the wastelands. Certainly, "our clothes have not worn out" (see Deut 8:4) Now, I eagerly await the second act. I know that it's going to be worth the price of admission.

"For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land- a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing into the valley and hills; a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills".
Deuteronomy 8:7-9

Temporary

There is a rhythm to fall that always delights me. I realize that technically it is still summer, but the routine that commences once my lieblings head off to their first day of school is the unofficial beginnning of that season for me. Today, was that day. And, in keeping with the theme it poured rain. I didn't argue, rather donned my Gorton's-fisherman-yellow rain slicker and began dreaming of baking, and workable soil. If I'd had galoshes, I may have even splashed through some puddles. Autumn is cozy.

As I've mentioned in a previous post, I am grateful for each season. None of them lasts forever. I am still waiting to transition from the difficult financial season that has consumed much of this year, but I wholly trust that it's coming. Then, as now, I will clothe myself in the seasonally appropriate attire and and dance in the rain.

Weird

I had a conversation with a friend about how the current economic state of affairs has impacted those least able to fend for themselves and the apparent lack of compassion on the part of those equipped to help. She noted that the difficulties for this population are amplified in the city of Portland and wondered how things are in other, more depressed towns like Flint, Michigan. I told her that though I am sure other areas are hard hit, I believe that this area is unique because of it's spiritual makeup. We live in a region of anarchists who's mantra is "Keep Portland Weird." Almost weekly protests, bear out the fact that authority of nearly any sort is the enemy. And even something as lovely and benign as riding a bicycle ('cause who doesn't enjoy a bike ride?)frequently becomes an egregious act because of a subversive bike culture, which plays by it's own rules on the roads (often at it's own peril), that has come into vogue. Folks here simply don't want to be told what to do. They will protest a cause halfway around the world, but ignore the plight of their neighbors around the corner. They are rebels and (surprise, surprise) the least churched state in the union.

After our discussion ended, I was thinking about the word "weird" and decided to look it up. Here's what I found"

Weird: 1. Of, relating to, or caused by witchcraft or the supernatural: MAGICAL. It is derived from an Old English noun wyrd, meaning "fate" (Webster's New Explorer College Dictionary)

This definition speaks volumes. 1 Samuel 15:23 says that "rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry." I would venture to guess that the majority of the population of the area is unaware of the link between their rebellious "weirdness", and witchcraft. They are just living in the moment, doing what feels good, enjoying life on their own terms. They don't realize who has mastered them... cause, like it all not, we all serve a master. I pray for this great city. It grieves my heart. Lord, let my little light shine!

"There is a way that seems right to man, But its end is the way of death." Proverbs 14:12

Legacy

My hubby and I attended a wedding yesterday and while waiting for the festivities to begin, a longtime friend of mine was snapping impromptu photos of the guests. Now, anyone who knows me, realizes that the sight of a lens pointed in my direction usually elicits an attempt on my part to disappear. I simply do not relish having my picture taken. Let me clarify that this was not the photographer hired by the couple to capture their day (I sat still for him. Besides, he was at a more comfortable distance. I would not likely be featured in his shots) This was renegade paparazzi, likely on a mission that involved Facebook. So, I employed my best strategies to avoid being photographed which included finally leaving the area. I was scolded by another guest for doing so. She told me that she maintains photographs of herself and her husband from birth forward because she wants her grandchildren to see her in her youth. Not wanting to be photographed, in her opinion, is prideful.

Her words gave me pause and made me reflect on my photo aversion... As much as I love photography and revisiting the memories captured on film, I am less concerned about being remembered for the way that I look, than for my character. I've heard rumor that the Apostle Paul had bowed legs and a huge head but, what he lacked in physical aesthetics, he more than made up for in devotion to our saviour. He is one of my favorites. And, while Queen Esther was beautiful, she earned a book in the Old Testament because of her courageous obedience, not because of her hourglass figure, or perfectly symmetrical features. I hope that when I am gone, I am remembered because I was a true friend, a faithful wife, and a loving mother; because I was hospitable, because I loved to laugh, and more than anything because I was a woman after God's own heart. The color and shape of my eyes pale in comparison.

Purpose

First, an aside:
I have had this draft on the docket for a couple of days now but hadn't completed my essay. Today one of our pastors spoke on the same topic. (I love it when God does that.) I thought that it must be time to finish.

I work part time at the city library as a reference assistant, which is simply a quasi-librarian without a masters degree. I have always loved libraries and as such, am immensely happy to work in one. Many of us retain the ideological stereotype of libraries as serene edifices where noise of any sort is quickly stifled, and patrons are free to roam unfettered through the stacks, ingesting copious amount of knowledge-- but the current age of information and technology has began to alter the traditional notion of libraries... and even books. In response, libraries are redefining themselves, and branching out into before unknown territories. I applaud this effort as long as we don't self-destruct by completely reinventing ourselves. There are a number of places where one might read, surf the net, and drink coffee but none that offers the full complement of services available at the local library. We are irreplaceable.

That brings me to my reason for this post: Purpose. Without fully understanding the purpose of something, it's hard to know what to do with it, why it exists, or even if it's worth keeping. That goes for everything from stuff piled in junk drawers, to relationships, and (dare I say) human life. If we don't understand the function and the value of that function, things easily become disposable. If however, the mission is clear, it is easy to fiercely defend against any and every thing that threatens that goal.

So it is with my relationship with the Lord. He is my purpose. I was created in His image to give Him glory. I am an ambassador for Christ. That is the reason that I exist and that is a privilege in which I find great joy and peace. Therefore, as each new season of life brings unforeseen challenges and opportunities, every decision must pass through the filter of that purpose. I embrace everything that enhances my mission, and discard anything that hinders or distracts from it. The end goal remains unchanged; to reflect the glory of the living God. I hope that public libraries will also employ the wisdom required to retain their unique place in society.

"...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1

Contrast

Yesterday, I was grocery shopping when my husband pointed out that another shopper had brought their dog into the store. I spotted the small, scraggly, canine perched in a cart nearby, trying to jump to freedom, unharnessed, unvested, and clearly not a service animal. Though the sign on the entrance stated that non-service animals are not permitted in the store, the employees stood by helpless, as they are "not allowed to say anything."

Today, I was parking in a lot shared by several businesses, toward the center of the rather large lot, when my children noticed that there was an unsupervised child sleeping in the car next to ours. He looked to be around three and was fast asleep in his booster seat. There was no sign of a parent, or guardian anywhere in sight. Since I didn't have a cell phone, I entered the business that I'd come for and told the clerk. She called her manager and they decided to page the owner of the vehicle. The woman that I'd seen browsing the used books near the front of the store, on her cell phone responded to the call, and left.

I could not help but notice the irony of those two scenarios that played out just a day apart and just a few miles from each other. What is wrong with our culture when our children are of less value and priority than our pets? And, why is there no regard for rules that protect the health of others? It is a sad commentary on the spiritual health of our nation. It grieves my heart.

"But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God." 2 Timothy 3:1-5

Structure

Unable to sleep, I found myself thinking about an organizing project that I am helping a friend with in the wee hours this morning. She is excited as she has caught the vision and is beginning to see the pieces of the puzzle come together. And I am thrilled. It is always so rewarding to be able to help someone climb out of chaos and breath in the freshness of order. I very much enjoy the process of getting to the heart of the problem, conquering the dust, and excess, to produce a serene space which is both visually pleasing and highly functional.

Likewise, I am excited about the organizing projects that God has birthed in my life. I have watched him clear out, rearrange, restore, and remodel, as needed. I hope that I too am becoming a pleasing dwelling place for Him that is visually pleasing and highly functional.

"If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him." John 15:23

Easy

Ahhhhhhh, summer break has begun and according to Gershwin, the living is eeeeasy! (I don't care much whether the fish are jumpin' nor how high the cotton gets, I am just hap-hap-happy that the slower pace of summer is here.)

Content

I was sharing with a friend that last week was filled with crazy: Not the major kind that is all together paralyzing and sends me immediately to my knees, but little grating things, that occurred daily as if I had signed up for some Bizarro World secret pal exchange and scored a really sadistic secret pal. (I will not succumb to whining by listing the particulars. Suffice it to say that sometimes little things are far more annoying. It's like Chinese water torture.)

Still in the midst of this stress-filled week, there was underlying joy and even moments of downright bliss like when I noticed my freesia about to bloom. I am still amazed by God's gift of peace that absolutely surpasses my understanding. As this storm howls on, I can feel the arm of the Lord around me, protecting me and assuring that this too, shall pass. For His grace and comfort, I am immensely grateful.

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Philippians 4:12

Twigs

Earlier this spring, I went with a friend to a warehouse shopping club where we picked up some plants for our yards. The plants that I chose were neatly packaged, in a bag with a photo showing how the various species had been coordinated to create a beautiful shade garden.

When I pulled some of the plants out, they looked nothing like the illustrations on the back of the bag. There was no sign of leaves or even a hint of which direction these things should be inserted into the ground. Rather, they resembled dried bundles of twigs coated with sawdust. I planted them anyway. It was purely an act of faith.

A few weeks have passed and I had not seen any sign of life from the plants until today. I was weeding the beds and noticed an unusual looking "weed" that I reluctantly dug up, and immediately recognized as one of my stick bundles. I replanted it and then investigated the others. Sure enough, most of the Astilbes now have tiny leaves. I am thrilled and relieved.

This of course, put me in mind of what is happening with my husband's job search. He has been busy planting and fertilizing but as of yet, there has been no sign of success. Still, just because we can't see anything surfacing, that doesn't mean that deep beneath the surface, the root system of this thing isn't stretching out, maturing, and preparing to burst out of the soil.

"Now, faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."
Hebrews 11:1

Sunshine

It is around 75 degrees today, for the second day running and I am so happy to see that good old sun. I am badly in need of some vitamin D, and sun rays pouring into my windows.

I am looking forward to the slower pace of summer. I plan to suck all of the goodness out of every moment of that season just as I sucked all of the color out of my "Popsicles" as a child (Do you remember that? Reducing those things to nothing more than flavorless icebergs on a stick?)

I hope that this change of season will also usher in the change of season that God is birthing for my household. We are holding up well, still filled with peace, and gazing toward the hills for our help, but I won't pretend like it wont be a relief when we are able to shake the dust of this desert off of our sandals and sit down to feast on the spoils of the promised land.

Sorrow

I lost a dear friend of mine today. She was not yet forty. She would have hit that milestone in July. I missed my opportunity to say goodbye by minutes, just minutes and I am heavy with loss and sorrow.

It's hard to wrap my brain around the idea of not seeing her again. In my mind, the conversations weren't finished. We still had lots to talk about, and laugh about, and learn about. We still had adventures to take and lunches to eat. Now those will have to wait. I wish that I had taken more time to make time. I hope that she knew how much she meant to me; how much I love her.

For those of you still with me, who do make time in your hectic pace to squeeze me in, I thank you. I hope that each of you know how very much you mean to me and how much I love you.

Flashback

Last night I decided to tackle a bit of organizing in the garage. While I was digging through some boxes that needed sorting, I came across an old diary of mine that I'd started in 1982, when I was twelve years old. So, I put it aside to read when I'd finished the project for the evening. I am so glad that I did.

I was both amused and humbled by the words contained in that little book. I laughed at the detailed minutia of my daily adolescent existence, which included everything from what I wore and ate that day, to verbatim conversations that had played out some twenty-eight years ago. I blushed, embarrassed by my intense interest in the opposite sex, and the fickleness of my many crushes. But most of all, I was humbled by God's grace and thankful that my loving Saviour took my young heart, redirected my gaze, and began this life-long process of transforming it to resemble His. For, during those awkward years of self-discovery, I had also discovered Christ.

I am so glad that I held onto the words that I had penned at that age; that early view from inside my head that now seems foreign to me. It is a precious thing to recall where God has brought me from. And, like Paul, I am convinced that "He who began a good work in (me) will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."(Philippians 1:6)

Upheaval

I was chatting with someone yesterday about the similarities of our present situations. Both of us are at moments in this journey that seem utterly out of our control (though the truth of the matter is that we never have as much "control" as we believe that we do).

One of the hats that I wear in life is that of a professional organizer. So, I mentioned to my companion that the present state of affairs reminds me of the part of the process of restoring order when everything has to be removed, temporarily creating a greater sense of disorder than before. It is at this point that my client has to trust my vision, take a deep breath, and allow me to finish the work that I have started. What often looks like utter chaos is in fact, progress toward the goal of becoming completely organized.

So it is with this season. Thankfully, I have been here in the past. Because of that, I know firsthand that no matter how things appear at this juncture, The One who orders my steps is simply executing His master plan. And I am quite sure that its going to be beautiful!

Encore!

My husband called me from work a week ago ago and informed me that he had been laid off. Apparently the company was looking to cut costs for their customers and decided that reducing their work force was one way to do that. As he was one of the newest hires, he naturally was one of the first to go. I was not shocked by this news. It's no secret that the economy has been in turmoil for a while. What has come as a bit of a surprise to me, though, is the incredible amount of peace that we both have.

Here's some background information: We were just hitting a nice cruising speed again after rebounding from 14 months of (income-less) self-employment, and three months of consequent unemployment. This after a 17 1/2 year career at one company. We have fewer resources this time (having just been through this) and more obligations. Yet, in the midst of this, there is peace... and joy! I believe that this is an opportunity for God to show Himself strong and pull us out of this one as only He can.

I am encouraged by the stories of Gideon, Nehemiah, and David (just to name a few). In all of these situations, God's people were out-matched in resources. But because they trusted God's might, not their own, they were victorious over their foe. He used the least likely means to accomplish His purpose.

It is also kind of flattering that He is showing His confidence in us by allowing us to walk this path again... and so soon. Since He promised never to give us more than we can bear, He must know that we are able to endure this. So, please stay tuned. I look forward to joining the great cloud of witnesses and telling my first hand account of God's continuing goodness during this time.

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

John 16: 33

Valentines

On the evening that my husband proposed to me, I arrived home after work to find him waiting on my porch wearing the vintage suit that he'd worn on our first date. He had parked his car inconspicuously around the corner so that I wouldn't be immediately aware of his presence and upon discovering him there, he invited me to go on a drive with him. I accepted. He retrieved his car from it's hiding place and in the passenger side was a basket that he had constructed containing some of my favorite things: flowers, the specific brand and flavor of mints that I preferred, my favorite cookies, and other things that could only have been selected by one who had been paying careful attention to my preferences, and knew me well. He has since told me that he also wore the suit because he knew how much I liked it. Over the course or our marriage, he continues to be attentive to the things that matter to me.

Likewise, the Lord has shown his love to me numerous times in small, intimate ways that show how well he knows me and how much he cares about the details that matter to me. I call those valentines.

I am my beloveds and He is mine.

Song of Songs 2:16

Free

On MLK day yesterday, I was considering the freedom that I enjoy as a woman of color in this country: the freedom to vote, to own a home in a diverse neighborhood, to send my children to an integrated school, to obtain an education, and work in a professional position, just to name a few. These are freedoms that I do not take for granted for I understand that they were achieved through the blood, sweat, tears, and prayer of countless men and women who have gone before me. These are freedoms that many of my ancestors never knew, and others only realized after nearly a lifetime of suffering. No. I cannot take them for granted. I am a grateful beneficiary.

In addition to the freedoms that are afforded me because of civil rights legislation, I have an even greater freedom, an eternal freedom, because of one act, committed by one man. While the civil rights movement certainly moved our country in the right direction, it was imperfect in that it could not legislate the hearts of man. It could not force anyone to espouse the principle that "all men are created equally" nor could it completely erase the lingering effects of hundreds of years of slavery, nor the ramifications of the Jim Crow South.

This freedom that is available in Christ is comprehensive. It completely transforms heart and mind, rendering a new creation. And to me, that is freedom worth dying for. For, "if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed." John 8:36

New

Renewal

Restoration
Freshness
Renaissance
Newness
Neotericity*

This is what the stroke of midnight ushers in on the 31st of December, annually.

It is also what is available upon request from our Lord daily.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:29-31

* Oh yeah, I found the root for this one in the thesaurus and it seduced me. So, I included it

2010!

Happy New Year! What a delight to be alive and well at the beginning of another year.

After two lovely weeks of sleeping in, being (almost) unscheduled, and generally reveling in the season of celebration, I feel refreshed and ready to tackle 2010. For me, the last two weeks of the 2009 were a sabbath. My dear friend,with whom I walk, and I both decided to give way to the season and allow ourselves to be "slackers" instead of adhering to our morning routine. Even the work place took on an air of relaxation, as goodies of all sorts lined the work room counter. I have enjoyed the fellowship of friends and family, good food, and great conversation. It has been a decadent departure. A season of rest.
I hope that all of you are also looking forward to what God has for us in this season.

"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under the sun."