Control

Psalm 151 a psalm of me, not David.

My life and I are His idea, for He is the author.
I yield to His masterful narrative. I am His story to tell.
He is in control.

He has allowed this storm for reasons that I do not understand;
The wind and storm waters are solely His possessions.
I trust Him.
He is in control.

I will rest in Him even though the wind, cold and biting, loudly howls around me; though the cold rain pierces to the flesh.
I am drenched, and shivering.
He is in control.

Still, I will fix my eyes and ears upon the conductor; the only one who understands the rhythm of this cacophony.
He is in control. I am grateful to follow His lead.

"Speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord. Always give thanks to God for everything in the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ." Ephesians 5:19-20

January

On my walk this morning, I was mentally chronicling all of the reasons that I love this month. I will share:

It's slow. The pace of January is refreshing after the busyness of the holidays. It's unhurried.

It's new. Like crawling into a bed with freshly laundered sheets, the first month of the year is fresh and unwrinkled. It feels new and delicious.

It's hopeful. There is much to anticipate: the first bulbs of spring, summer at the beach, digging in the garden, sun tea, the crunch of leaves in the fall, and all of the occasions and events that mark the year.

I am grateful for another opportunity to take a spin around the sun on this big blue marble that we call home. I believe that it is going to be a great one.

Roadtrip

When our family lived in the Midwestern cornfields of Illinois, we occasionally needed a city fix. So, we'd jump into our car and make the two hour drive North toward Chicago or Schaumburg. It was a pretty straight shot and the terrain was fairly homogeneous: a long stretch of black asphalt surrounded by farmland as far as the eye could see. Every so often, we'd reach an encouraging landmark that would serve as an indication of how far we'd progressed and give us some indication of how far yet remained until we reached our destination. It was not a terribly exciting trip visually, but good music, great conversation, and the promise of soaking in all that awaited us at journey's end made it worth our while.

That's how I feel at the beginning of 2011. We are still on the same road that we found ourselves on during most of 2010. Unlike that little highway to Chicago, it has been wrought with bumps, twists, and turns. Yet is has been a ride filled with peace as we've surrendered with complete trust to the navigator. Though, we've never been on this stretch of road, He has. And, since we are still moving forward, we must be getting closer- even though the scenery has not changed much.
I so look forward to stretching out my legs and sending out some postcards.

Slow

If I am not careful I can approach the Christmas season like a project, giving myself a syllabus of activities to complete and check off by the due date. There is always pressure to write, address, and mail the annual Christmas letter, shop for, wrap, and distribute presents, bake cookies, decorate the house, find and trim the tree... the list goes on. While all of those activities are lovely and part of my enjoyment of the season, I never want to become so wrapped up in celebrating that I lose focus of the reason for the celebration.

What I really crave this year is time to be still and meditate on the lyrics of my favorite carols such as "Oh, Holy Night", "Oh, Come Let Us Adore Him," and "Hark the Herald Angels Sing." I want to fully appreciate the magnitude of the incredible event that Christmas commemorates; To spend quiet, intimate moments with my saviour and reflect on His goodness to me over the years. At the end of an especially trying year, this is my grown-up Christmas list.

Blessings

I awoke this morning in the comfort of my warm bed, in my warm bedroom next to my very best friend. Our children were only a few yards, away down the hall, safe,warm, and healthy in their own warm beds.

I was able to get up without assistance, cook a hearty breakfast for my family, indulge in a hot bath, and will soon be headed to my mother-in-laws for a family dinner.

I am a woman abundantly blessed. How can I say thank you, Lord? I thank you with my life.

"Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live." Psalm 63:3-4

Gravy

Several years ago, when I was living out of state and had come for a visit, my dad showed me a copy of a book that a local artist had written about Portland which featured a small line drawing of my father (he has operated a catering business locally, for several years, and has garnered a bit of local celebrity.) I was excited and, of course wanted a copy. I have thought about it off and on over the years but have yet to obtain one.

Just last week, that book came to mind again, so I called my dad to ask for the title and author. I still wanted a copy, and was curious whether the library where I work owned the book. Unfortunately, my dad couldn't remember the name of the book or the author. He gave me the few sordid details that he could recall, and I set out on my search. I didn't have much to go on as I had only seen the book briefly and couldn't remember anything about it myself.

Today when I got to work, I picked up some books that I had requested. Upon opening the cover of one that I believed to be a children's book based on the title, I was delighted to see the drawing of my daddy smiling at me. This was the book! I had found it without realizing it!

Sometimes God presents me with the little delights of my heart, making very clear his incredible love for me, and reminding me how he cares about every detail that concerns me. In February, I referred to those as valentines. In November, I will call them gravy.

Thanksgiving

I was lying in bed the other morning thinking about the year so far which has been wrought with set backs and unexpected losses. We seem to get mere moments to catch our breath before the next contraction begins. Having been through labor twice, I recognize that as a good thing. Transition, though the worst part, is also the last hurdle before birth. It's the homestretch.

My husband is again, looking for work. The direction that he took at the crossroad a few weeks ago, though certainly not an Ishmael in that no irreparable damage occurred, was also not the Isaac that we have awaited. So, once again, we find ourselves waiting.

Still, in spite of the difficult terrain that life has dealt us this year, the overwhelming peace of God remains. In the midst of chaos, the joy of the Lord is our strength. And we are so thankful for the blessings of family, friendship, love, laughter, and the true riches of fellowship with The Master. As we gather at our table a few Thursdays from now, we still have an enormity of things to be grateful for.

I know that we are not unique in enduring tough circumstances. We have many loved ones who are also navigating through choppy waters. Please know that you are remembered in our prayers. During this season, I hope that you will also seize upon the opportunity to offer heartfelt thanks to our father, no matter what kind of obstacles have beset your journey. For even if all of the pleasures that this world has to offer are stripped away bit by bit, Christ remains. And he is more than enough.

"Who have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you." Psalm 73:25