Cloud

I have been thinking that there might be a reader or two that followed our adventure in the desert and wonders how that all panned out. With those people in mind, let me testify.

Early into my blogging, I posted that my husband had lost his job. This came on the heels of a self-employment endeavor from which he received no income for almost a year but had incurred some debt as a result of the overhead associated with running a business.

I later blogged about the bank threatening to foreclose on our house, about my dad having a stroke, about a fire caused by a defect in our clothes dryer that left us temporarily "homeless" (I acknowledge that the word homeless is a giant misnomer since this world is not home, anyway) and at the tail end of this string of unfortunate events, how my body declared "uncle" and fell prey to illness. It was a ride. I was back on the Ferris Wheel that I blogged about in one of my initial posts. Let me tell you what I saw this time:

I witnessed He who is in me, being greater than he who is in the world. The bank threatened us day after day for almost a year with harassing phone calls, while repetitively telling us that they could offer no solution to our dilemma except for a short sale or deed in lieu (until I cried foul and told them to stop calling and just do what they needed to do.) In the end, though nothing had changed in our finances and we had long since stopped asking, the bank suddenly decided to refinance the loan and we are still in our home.

I watched The Great Physician bring my dad back from the stroke restoring his mobility, his verbal ability, and his cognition.

I saw God's perfect timing. The funds from the fire claim came through just days after signing the refinance documents with the bank. Because the loan was in good standing, those funds allocated to repair the damages to our house were not confiscated by the bank but were used for their intended purpose.

I saw all things work together for our good (being that we are called according to His purpose.) That fire only damaged the dryer, its contents, and caused smoke damage to a few things that we could live without and/ or needed to replace, anyway. No one was hurt. The contents that were damaged have been replaced and there is not even the smell of smoke.

I learned how the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. The doctor and the specialist that I visited gave me a diagnosis that had "no cause" and "no cure." The doc let me know that there was nothing "natural" that I could do to correct the condition and the specialist prescribed a toxic cocktail of prescription drugs. The Great Physician told me, in my quiet time with Him, that I was going to be all right. He then directed me to a naturopathic doctor (my 3rd) that specialized in these things, who helped me discover what the underlying cause of my condition was and helped me regain my health. No pills required; Just the tools that God has provided.

I stood with God and watched him take loaves and fishes and turn them into more than enough with some left over. When my husband did find a job after being laid off, the pay was significantly less than he had been receiving. It seemed that our budget had already been thin but, somehow with less than before, every need was met. In the midst of the leanness, God amazed us by providing for every. single. situation. And, we were able to sow seed elsewhere.

And, last July, I saw a fist in the sky the size of a man's hand. My hubby began to excel in his new field and I could smell rain on the horizon after the long draught. In December, he received a year-end bonus that blew our minds. We were able to pay off all of our debts, with the exception of our mortgage, and end the year unshackled.

So now, after that long dry season, with a body that is once again able to, we are simply dancing in the rain.

"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

The View From the Summit

Although the official day of thanksgiving has passed, I cannot let the season slip away without acknowledging with gratitude, what seems to finally be the end of a Job season and the commencement of rest.

If you've followed this blog, then you know that I've made no secret of the challenges and set-backs that have littered my path. The last several years have felt like an ascent up the jagged side of Mount Crazy harnessed only by the caribiner of faith, with God as my scout. On many occassions, I told the Lord that, "I don't understand, but I trust you so, I will keep climbing" and now, we seem to have finally reached our destination. It is exilharating. I have to pause and marvel, once again, at God's provision and protection.

During this season of tribulations, I have been safer swinging from jagged rock under the watchful eye of my Lord and Saviour, than I would have been with both feet planted firmly on level ground without him. And, for that, I am extremely thankful.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" Romans 8:38-39

Lest My Readers Think That I've Capsized and Drowned....

I'd better get something published on this blog (assuming that there are still one or two faithful that continue to peek at this view from inside my head.)

I have not, in fact, capsized rather am enjoying a new vantage point of life from outside of the ordinary. My family has been displaced from our house since mid-August when our defective clothes dryer blazed up, incinerating itself, the load of whites that it was supposed to be drying, and causing some nasty smoke damage to the top floor of our house. Thankfully, we were home, awake, and able to remove ourselves without incident. (I have to laugh thinking about how calm everyone in the household was. I suppose that living the last few years with high decibel drama has mellowed us all. My children's chief concern was which of their garments might have been sacrificed in the dryer. And, I was worried about the loud alarms waking our neighbors, as it was rather late in the evening. Apart from that, it was business as usual).

God in his faithfulness is using this situation to demonstrate how he always gives beauty for ashes. When this is all said and done, we will have fresh carpet, walls painted in the colors of our choosing, new appliances, and best of all new mattresses. Everything should be restored and refreshed just in time for the holidays. Once again, we win.

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Life at Sea

My life over the last few years has included an interesting chain of events that I could never have imagined. These years have been saturated with job loss, sickness, death, and financial distress. I have attended an unprecedented number of funerals, visited and prayed for countless loved ones with critical health situations, and am currently experiencing some wonky issues in my own body. Being one for neatness and order, I am astounded by the realization that despite the unceasing turbulence of late, I am more content than I have ever been. God's peace has constantly sustained me and I have discovered life at sea--

Away for terra firma, in the unfamiliar, with the uncertainty of the stormy sea dashing at will against my little boat, I have found that even there my saviour's love extends to me. I am at peace, resting in Him who has never failed me and continues to meet my every need.

" Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written:

“For Your sake we are killed all day long;
We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.”

Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:35-39

Sabbath

It is January and I am having a sabbath. I am resting amidst the hustle. I am delighting in quiet moments. I am devouring beautiful frosted mornings and still quiet nights. And I am giddy from the pleasure of doing so. I don't feel like rushing. I am savoring this season too much.

ThanksLiving

While the national day of thanksgiving has passed and many of my fellow Americans have run off to shop. I am still focusing on the abundant blessings that I am able to enjoy. We celebrated the holiday this year with family and the usual accoutrements (turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce and the like) but, here is the menu I am most craving right now:

The "gravy" of God's anointing in my life and in the life of His entire body, flowing like oil down Aaron's beard. (Psalm 133:1) and the sweet fruits of the spirit: love, peace, joy, kindness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:22)

As God continues to breathe the breath of life into my nostrils, I want to live a life of gratitude and not just on the third Thursday of November.

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Quiet

Last year, I wrote that I love January for a variety of reason that I then went on to list in detail. It's still true. I love January!

After the clamor of the holidays (which I love equally) on that first day that school resumes and I send my children off to continue learning, there is a stillness and quiet that sweeps over the house and envelopes me like a warm blanket. It is luxurious and delicious; almost palpable. It never ceases to delight me. And after having filled my belly with the fellowship of friends and family, taking tours of other views from other heads, I am ready for January. For in such moments, thick will quietness, I am most present in his presence. That is the ultimate peace on earth.

Joy!

I heard this song again today, for the first time:

Joy to the World , the Lord is come!
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare Him room,
And Heaven and nature sing,
And Heaven and nature sing,
And Heaven, and Heaven, and nature sing.

Joy to the World, the Savior reigns!
Let men their songs employ;
While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat, repeat, the sounding joy.

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders, of His love.

And that, friends, is the excellent gift of Christmas!

Vision

Far sight:
My husband accepted a position with a recruiting agency this week and will begin work on Wednesday. It is a new field for him, one for which he is well suited and has wanted to explore for some time. But, since most of his experience lies elsewhere, the pay is half of what he has earned in the past. In spite of this detail, we trust that this is where God is leading. His fingerprint is all over it and we expect great things. Like Caleb we are focusing on the big grapes instead of the giants, having come to realize that God's might is unmatched by obstacles, no matter how large.

Near sight:
I have been praying for the Lord to increase my vision for people; to know how to pray, how specifically to touch lives around me that are hurting and desperate. Having my father be hospitalized has been one vehicle for me to see suffering that I am usually shielded from (since our family has been so healthy... thank you, Lord!), riding the max has been another. In both places I have had the opportunity to share encouragement and community with broken people. I want to walk in the places that Jesus walked.


Hindsight:
I have also been reflecting on my year of blogging. What began with hesitation, I now embrace with passion. I have heard some feedback from others who have been blessed by the words contained in this simple blog, I have been blessed by the process, and I hope that you have been too. I encourage you to join me, wherever your gifting lies, make the most of it for the benefit of us all.

Favor

I am happy to share a bit of sunshine today, given all of the bad reports in the news lately (100 and how many tornados in the South yesterday?!!) Please be encouraged, God is still good in the midst of the struggle.

Yesterday, I found out that God has stayed the hand of the executioner and our homeownership is no longer in peril. I called to find out what we needed to do to prevent the bank from proceeding with their plan to auction off our property, and was told that the auction has been cancelled. Perhaps this long, rough, storm is finally subsiding. Hallelujah, bring on the sunscreen!

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast." 1 Peter 5:10

Remix

While I've never considered myself a pessimist, and have long sought to enjoy the blessings of life, lately I have discovered a "whole--'notha--level" of happiness.* For example, today as I stood in the rain wondering if the bus that I had seen pass moments before I arrived at the stop was the one I needed to catch, I realized that this potential elicited neither panic nor even annoyance. It simply meant a possible change of plans. As I reflect on this and other moments of sheer bliss recently, it occurs to me that God is doing something really cool during this season. He is remodeling my interior terrain. During the worst financial storm of my adult life, I am more carefree than I have been since I was a very small child. And, it feels amazing.

"You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." Isaiah 26:3


*That one was for you, Babe.

January

On my walk this morning, I was mentally chronicling all of the reasons that I love this month. I will share:

It's slow. The pace of January is refreshing after the busyness of the holidays. It's unhurried.

It's new. Like crawling into a bed with freshly laundered sheets, the first month of the year is fresh and unwrinkled. It feels new and delicious.

It's hopeful. There is much to anticipate: the first bulbs of spring, summer at the beach, digging in the garden, sun tea, the crunch of leaves in the fall, and all of the occasions and events that mark the year.

I am grateful for another opportunity to take a spin around the sun on this big blue marble that we call home. I believe that it is going to be a great one.

Blessings

I awoke this morning in the comfort of my warm bed, in my warm bedroom next to my very best friend. Our children were only a few yards, away down the hall, safe,warm, and healthy in their own warm beds.

I was able to get up without assistance, cook a hearty breakfast for my family, indulge in a hot bath, and will soon be headed to my mother-in-laws for a family dinner.

I am a woman abundantly blessed. How can I say thank you, Lord? I thank you with my life.

"Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live." Psalm 63:3-4

Gravy

Several years ago, when I was living out of state and had come for a visit, my dad showed me a copy of a book that a local artist had written about Portland which featured a small line drawing of my father (he has operated a catering business locally, for several years, and has garnered a bit of local celebrity.) I was excited and, of course wanted a copy. I have thought about it off and on over the years but have yet to obtain one.

Just last week, that book came to mind again, so I called my dad to ask for the title and author. I still wanted a copy, and was curious whether the library where I work owned the book. Unfortunately, my dad couldn't remember the name of the book or the author. He gave me the few sordid details that he could recall, and I set out on my search. I didn't have much to go on as I had only seen the book briefly and couldn't remember anything about it myself.

Today when I got to work, I picked up some books that I had requested. Upon opening the cover of one that I believed to be a children's book based on the title, I was delighted to see the drawing of my daddy smiling at me. This was the book! I had found it without realizing it!

Sometimes God presents me with the little delights of my heart, making very clear his incredible love for me, and reminding me how he cares about every detail that concerns me. In February, I referred to those as valentines. In November, I will call them gravy.

Thanksgiving

I was lying in bed the other morning thinking about the year so far which has been wrought with set backs and unexpected losses. We seem to get mere moments to catch our breath before the next contraction begins. Having been through labor twice, I recognize that as a good thing. Transition, though the worst part, is also the last hurdle before birth. It's the homestretch.

My husband is again, looking for work. The direction that he took at the crossroad a few weeks ago, though certainly not an Ishmael in that no irreparable damage occurred, was also not the Isaac that we have awaited. So, once again, we find ourselves waiting.

Still, in spite of the difficult terrain that life has dealt us this year, the overwhelming peace of God remains. In the midst of chaos, the joy of the Lord is our strength. And we are so thankful for the blessings of family, friendship, love, laughter, and the true riches of fellowship with The Master. As we gather at our table a few Thursdays from now, we still have an enormity of things to be grateful for.

I know that we are not unique in enduring tough circumstances. We have many loved ones who are also navigating through choppy waters. Please know that you are remembered in our prayers. During this season, I hope that you will also seize upon the opportunity to offer heartfelt thanks to our father, no matter what kind of obstacles have beset your journey. For even if all of the pleasures that this world has to offer are stripped away bit by bit, Christ remains. And he is more than enough.

"Who have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you." Psalm 73:25

Abundance

Last night, several friends gathered on short notice to celebrate my milestone birthday with me. My husband and another one of my dearest friends insisted until they finally wore down my resistance and I conceded. I'm glad that I did because as much as I tried to avoid having this gathering and being forced into the spotlight, it blessed me. In fact, I will still be basking in the memory of the evening for years to come.

The two party planners did an amazing job! The hosts created a welcoming oasis in their park-like backyard that could easily have graced the cover of any home and garden magazine. My sweetheart also worked at this project with unmatched enthusiasm and delight; running errands, making phone calls, and relishing the opportunity. Together they pulled no punches. As we share a mutual admiration of all things cake (www.communitycake.wordpress.com ) they even asked each guest to bring one. It was a cake extravaganza!

Once everyone had arrived, I took a moment to make introductions telling how I had come to know each person there. But as I reflect on those words now, they are grossly inadequate descriptions of the amazing individuals that I am blessed to have in my life. I wish that I could have taken hours to describe who each one of them is to me:

the constant friends who I have now known for more years than I didn't know them, with whom I have shared adventures too numerous to count...

the ones who drove well over an hour to be there last night, and also drove 15 minutes in the middle of a September night in 1995 to care for our son, while I labored with, and delivered our daughter...

the ones who drove nearly as far, despite debilitating health issues...

the ones who remained in contact over the years and over the miles, as we followed my husband's career across the country, so that our friendship never missed a beat...

the ones who make it a pleasure to go to work each day...

the friends who have quickly established their place in my heart and become part of the fabric of my life...

my Daddy who has always been in my corner cheering for me....

my handsome, teenage, nephew who I am told is sometimes surly but has never shown me anything but love and respect and who took the time to come and wish me well...

my own two teens who I have seen surly on occasion and have the privilege of watching grow into amazing individuals that I am thankful to know...

my sweet husband, with whom I share this privilege, and who is the salt in my life enhancing every part of it, making the journey more flavorful...

and all who have shared my laughter and tears, prayed with me and for me, opened their hearts and homes to me and mine, countless times, as well as graced our home with their presence.

Though there was an array of cakes, I barely touched them. What I really craved was more time to sit down and fill up on that buffet of beautiful friends that feed my soul. I am honored to have such abundance in my life.